Fifty Shades Freed – Review


Title: Fifty Shades Freed

Author: E.L. James

Rating: ★


Warning: ***There are spoilers in the review***


Review:  All I can say about this book, this whole series, is FINALLY!!!! I’m done!!! If I ever see the word ‘mercurial’ one more time, it will be only too soon. E.L. James thinks herself clever for using some ‘big’ words to make her characters sound intelligent, and then she clings to those words like a lifeline. My one hope is that someone buys that woman a Thesaurus sometime soon.

Her consistent use of the same words over and over and OVER again, not to mention her constant referral to Christian as ‘my Fifty,’ and her inner dialogue with her Subconscious and Inner Goddess drive me up the wall! Isn’t the whole point of the SUBconscious to be below (hence the prefix ‘sub’) your consciousness? As in….not aware of it!

The plot was…meh. I have never read two more insecure characters in my life. I was physically frustrating to read their constant doubt of each other and themselves. How many times to do they have to ask the other how they can prove their love? If you love someone, and especially if you are married to them, you shouldn’t have to be constantly trying to prove your love and gain the others’ trust. It wouldn’t bother me if they were dating, but they’re freaking married! But oh wait….they’ve maybe known each other for about 5 months over the span of this entire series.

I was pushing myself to finish this series and get it done so I could move on to other books. The epilogue was……bleh. Honestly, it was more than bleh. It was disturbing! The whole flogging of a 6-month pregnant woman….creepy. I’ll pass.

And then, after I let out a sigh of relief that I am done, I flip the page to see Christian’s side of the story! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


I think that was the most disturbing part of all. Reading Christian’s reactions to Ana when they first met, and then the meeting in the hardware store…I honestly thought I was looking into the mind of a rapist/stalker. It was ridiculously disturbing and I felt physically uncomfortable. If I had an ounce of attraction to Christian while reading the books (which I didn’t), it definitely would have run screaming out the door after reading those few pages.

I can definitely promise never to read those books if they ever make it to the bookshelf! With the success of these novels, I seriously am worried for the future of literature.

This concludes my thoughts on the Fifty Shades trilogy. The end!!!! (FINALLY!!)

Happy Reading!



Fifty Shades of Grey – Review


Title: Fifty Shades of Grey

Author: E.L. James

Rating: ★

 Originally written as fan fiction based on Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series, this book introduces the readers to the dominant/submissive, extremely explicit relationship between an aspiring book editor and a very wealthy businessman with a dark past.

For the kinky-dom/sub-bondage-erotica enthusiast, this book is okay. For anyone looking for developed characters, plot, and a writing style greater than a fifth-grade reading level, I would steer away from this book.  I hate giving books 1 star, but I just couldn’t NOT do it.  The plot is severely lacking, and for the most part only exists to get the characters from point A (where they have sex) to point B (where they can have sex again).
This book annoyed me for oh-so many reasons. There was very little character development, and I lost count of how many times I was told that Christian was a beautiful man with a tragic childhood and depraved soul. Actions speak louder than words.  E.L. James ‘s vocabulary throughout the book is very limited, constantly reusing the same adjectives and phrases (except for the big words she throws in to make Christian sound intelligent).

Both characters have such negative images of themselves; their never-ending attempts to convince each other of their love gets a tad old when every other scene includes one asking the other what they can do to prove their love.  Every once in a while, the characters show an endearing quality, but then they’re immediately drawn back to their repetitive self-deprecation.

One thing that irked me was Ana’s constant reference to Christian as ‘Fifty Shades’ and ‘my Fifty.’ I don’t know why, but every time she refers to him by those names, I cringe.  I think I’m developing a permanent twitch in my left eye because of it.  In my mind, it’s just weird.  But hey, that’s me.

One thing that I found interesting is that Ana often considers Christian to have multiple personalities due to his constant mood swings, but between her own dull thoughts and references to her “inner goddess” and “subconscious,” she’s the one who should be seeing a shrink. I don’t know how she has room for her own thoughts in her head without one of the other two interrupting.

This book is clearly fan fiction, and while I have read some fan fictions written by 16-year-olds that could possibly give the original authors a run for their money, this fan fiction falls way short of the mark, which, in my opinion, wasn’t even set that high by Stephanie Meyer.

Despite all of this, I have begun a series, and my OCD requires me to finish it.  And I must admit, I am a bit curious to see just where James takes her story.